


Look Into My Eyes, It'll Be Okay...

by Plz_Humor_My_Ships



Category: MatPat - Fandom, Natepat - Fandom, The game theorist - Fandom, natewantstobattle
Genre: AU, Abuse, Angst, Anxiety, Cute, Depression, Flashbacks, Fluff, I'm Sorry, Jason Parker, M/M, Nate needs a hug, Past Child Abuse, Peepachu - Freeform, Sad, Skip - Freeform, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Soulmate eyes, Soulmateau, soulmate tattoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:04:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8633020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plz_Humor_My_Ships/pseuds/Plz_Humor_My_Ships
Summary: Nate sighed as he looked down at his wrist. Why had a name not appeared? Was he broken? Did he not have a soulmate? Obviously he did seeing as his eyes were two different colours, the clear sign that they were out there somewhere, but why was there no name?Nate had just turned seventeen, at that age your soulmates last name is supposed to appear somewhere on your body in their hand writing... Where was his?Soulmate AU Natepat cause its cute haha (Ends cute don't worry... i think)





	1. It's not there...

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please let me know of any mistakes, oh and please leave a comment it would just make my day! <3
> 
> Hey if you feel like a chat about this story, any story, ships, art, ideas, Questions, Music or just feel like a new friend-  
> Come say hi at my discord server!  
> https://discord.gg/u8z7uEW

Nate sighed as he looked down at his wrist. Why had a name not appeared? Was he broken? Did he not have a soulmate? Obviously he did seeing as his eyes were two different colours, the clear sign that they were out there somewhere, but why was there no name?

Nate had just turned seventeen, at that age your soulmates last name is supposed to appear somewhere on your body in their hand writing. Once you meet them and they tell you their name, their first name will appear in front of the last name. As it is typically written.

Now with all of the different methods and signs you would think that finding your soulmate would be easy. Its not, at least not for Nate, he had searched and searched but he had never found anyone with one their eyes the same colours as his. He often found himself wondering what colour his eyes are, now what you're probably thinking is 'just go look in the mirror' its not that simple.

Both of his eyes were brown, and yet completely different if you looked close enough. The right one, was a mixture of many light amber shades, swirling with a light chocolate colour. To look into it, it would seem like it was filled with knowledge, wonder, and curiosity. A constant look of wanting to learn the ways of the world but never knowing where to start, it was so... expressive. The left one was darker, almost black in some lights. Dark chocolate, mahogany and caramel melted together with flecks of such a dark brown that they looked black almost all the time. It was not filled with such wonder, but an odd kind of "I know something you don't" full of mischief. Not arrogant in fact a lot of the time it looked soft almost kind, but sassy in a way... Can eyes even look sassy?

And so there he sat, on the dark grey and black striped sheets of his bed, staring at his blank and horribly barren wrist. Was this it? Was he not good enough for a soulmate, or was it that he didn't deserve to be loved by another human being? Why was he even sitting here, what's the point if none of it will matter eventually, they will all be dead soon anyway right?

Nate groaned as he tuned to face-plant into his pillow. "what's the point?" he moaned into it.

 ** _You don't deserve love Nathan_**. A voice growled lowly in his mind

_Shut up, I don't want to deal with you right now_

**_Oooh touchy_ **

"Fuck you" Nate responded out loud.

**_No that's what a soulmate is for. Oh wait! You don't have one!_ **

Nate groaned as the voice in his head started cackling. He needed to find his soulmate soon, he didn't know how much more of this he could take. Rolling onto his side he decided to just try and sleep, though of course that would also fail him. He sighed tossing and turning for hours. He couldn't get comfortable, he couldn't keep his eyes closed, he _couldn't calm down_.

He felt it, the panic rising, choking him. He couldn't breath as the tears formed and fell down his reddening cheeks. " _No, no, not now please"_ Nate whimpered to himself. God could he not go a few weeks without panicking? He pulled himself into a ball as more tears fell, he couldn't hold it back any longer, the shaking began. He was shaking so much as he lay there, arms wrapped around himself the tears flowing like waterfalls down his already wet cheeks, breathing shallow and unsteady. His right arm uncurled itself from around him and instead moved up to dig into his scalp, he harshly pulled his hair trying desperately to distract himself from the fear and ever present sadness.

He didn't remember when his roommate Morgan had walked in, but the next thing he knew he was being held in her arms upright, as she whispered comforting words into his hair, rocking them both gently from side to side.

He tried to talk, to tell her how much he appreciated what she was doing and what was wrong but all that came out were stuttered whimpers. She shushed him gently running a hand through his dark, ebony locks. "Its ok Nate, its gonna be okay. Don't try to talk" she shushed him again gently.

__**USELESS!  
WORTHLESS!  
DISGUSTING!  
EVEN YOUR SOULMATE WON'T WANT YOU!  
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU DESERVE ONE HUH? EXACTLY!**

**_You're weak Nathan._ **

Slowly it became too much for his body and mind, and slowly he began to loose consciousness. At least this one wasn't as bad as a few others he has had to deal with...

Tiredly he closed his eyes, as he slept images of a brown haired male filled his mine, yet he could never seem to be able to see his face... he didn't know why but he really, really wanted to meet this person.

_Maybe they're my soulmate..._

**_So, so weak._ **


	2. School...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate is struggling with the thought of going to that hell hole that people call school, now he just has to convince Morgan to let him not go... which is going to be a lot harder than it sounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lovely readers,  
> As I have explained in my other story, circumstances are hard to work around but luckily I found myself some safe time to write and upload. YAY.  
> Anyway, I did not proof read, but I really hope you guys like it, because I had fun writing it.  
> Please comment it really makes my day, even if I can’t get back to you.   
> ENJOY! <3

Waking up was like he was trying to pull himself out of a tar pit. Long and painful, whenever he would bring himself close to full consciousness his body would slump and drag him back into the dark realm of sleep. I wasn’t for lack of trying, no, that most certainly was not the problem. It was just so hard, he was just so tired, this bed was just so… comfortable.

_No,_ he thought to himself, _I need to get up. I need to get up now or else I won’t sleep tonight._ And it was true, he knew that if he overslept now he would not be able to get up for school the next day. Not that he wanted to go back to that hell hole, but he knew that Morgan would be disappointed in him, and he hated that wretched feeling of guilt that came with it. He knew that she only made him go because she cared about him.

However, she would never know what hell awaited him at that terrible institution. Well… technically he didn’t either, but that didn’t change anything, school was always hell no matter what. Even when starting at new schools as he was doing now, things were always bad, he could never make friends, no one accepted him, everyone either ignored or bullied him. He was sure that this school would be no different.

Morgan however didn’t think that in the slightest. She in fact, thought that school was a wonderful place to learn and make a multitude of friends. Nevertheless, as mentioned before that is not the school life for Nathan Sharp. Perhaps, he could convince her to let him stay home, at least for just a few more days, he could; fake sick, compromise, argue- no wait he didn’t want to do that. Nate hated fighting or arguing with Morgan, of course he hated it, she had been caring for him for so long. Morgan wasn’t just like a guardian, but his best and only friend, his sister, his ally in the miserable torture that he calls his life.

Sighing he slowly pulled himself from the bed, throwing one leg after the other off the side the lifting his torso into a sitting position. As soon as he tried to straighten his back, he flinched and slouched again. _I must have slept on it wrong… again_ Nate thought to himself as he shakily raised from the bed, standing unsteadily on his still sleeping legs. The raven coughed as he raised his arms above his head in a soothing stretch, the pain was still there he noted as he rotated his arms. Hey, but at least it had now lessened somewhat.

Dropping his arms, and resting his chin on his chest he decided. He was going to try and convince Morgan to let him stay at home, he wasn’t ready, he couldn’t face that hell hole, at least not yet anyway. Nate opened his eyes, not realizing that they had closed at some point and trudged off to his bathroom where he had a set of his really comfortable clothes for scenarios like this. A shower, he decided would at least do him some good and relax his nerves a little bit. The brown eyes boy knew that he wasn’t in for a very pleasant conversation and wanted to be as prepared as possible.

When in the shower Nathan liked to think, it was one of the few places where he could truly think about the goings on in his life. Though, that is not necessarily always a good thing. Especially when he has been having a bad time, in those cases the bad thoughts and dangerous emotions seem to just consume him. Luckily for him, there was nothing too stressful going on in his life at the moment, apart from the looming threat of the beginning of school. That was always pretty stressful.

As he rinsed the conditioner out of his midnight hair, he let the sent surround him. In that moment he felt safe, the slightly too hot water raining down on his back, do doubt making the pale skin turn a pinkish red colour. That feeling combined with the peppermint sent the soap had left on his hair and body, was like his own personal heaven. However, like all good things, it too had to come to an end. It wouldn’t be fair on Morgan to use up all the hot water, nor to keep her waiting in the lounge room as he had heard her moving around in there earlier.

Releasing a deep sigh once again, he tuned of the water and stepped out of the steam covered, glass box. A chill ran through him as he stepped onto the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. Drying slowly, he rubbed the towel through his hair, Nate know that there wasn’t really a point, that he was only prolonging the inevitable. Hey, it was even probably better for his sanity to just get it over with, nice and quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Then it would be other and he could continue on his way.

_Band-Aids don’t usually feel disappointment in you though…_ once again more negative thoughts ran through his mind, burning and spreading like wild fire. Destroying all positive ideas and thoughts that he had tried and struggled so hard to hold onto. _Guess there’s no avoiding it now_. For a moment he just stood there, accepting his fate before he grabbed his clothes off of the counter. Avoiding the mirror, he pulled on his old, worn, but terribly comfortable track suit pants and his merch hoodie, the one that had his channel name on it. Naturally, it was black with the symbol and writing in a darkish grey.

Even though he was still at school, he loved music and he loved what he did. One day he had decided to create a channel, now he sells albums, gets onto the top 100’s in America, millions of people knew the name that he uses, “NateWantsToBattle”. At least that aspect of his life was going well. Standing at the bathroom door he hesitated, his right hand just hovering over the handle. Taking a deep breath he pulled himself together as much as possible, _it’s now or never sharp, you can do this._

Nodding to his own thoughts, he opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AS MUCH AS I LIKES WRITING IT! <3  
> Hey Lovely readers,  
> As I have explained in my other story, circumstances are hard to work around but luckily I found myself some safe time to write and upload. YAY.  
> Anyway, I did not proof read, but I really hope you guys like it, because I had fun writing it.  
> Please comment it really makes my day, even if I can’t get back to you.


	3. An Unwanted Flashback...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm Not Sorry. This had to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT LISTEN UP.  
> I think Morgan Want is great. Not as great as Steph but still great. This story needs bad guys, i'm working with what i got. So anyway, no harsh feelings towards Morgan okey? Okey.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING YOU LOVELY LIL' SHITS.
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS!  
> Kudos if possible?  
> <3

"Nate, will you please just calm down?" _Calm? **Calm**? I am calm! _ "Morgan, you're not listening to me. Please just try and see this from my perspective!"

"NATE! You have to go to school. You need to learn, you need to socialize, you need to make some fucking friends!" friends... friends, she thinks I'm going to be able to socialize. She KNOWS that I have problems with that. She knows how I have been treated in the past. SHE KNOWS. How? Because I told her for God's sake. I can't...

"I just can't go back to that, not again." She stared at me for a moment; it was obvious that she was mulling what I had said over. However, it seemed to not have that much of an effect on her. Because that next thing that crossed, her face was annoyance.

"Please Morgan... just... just"

"I'm trying Nathan-!" her arm swung forward. I flinched, my right hand rising to hold my stinging cheek. She hasn't called me by my full name in years. God, that really fucking stings. An old instinct rose inside of me, one that has been almost nonexistent since a little while after I moved in, I dropped my eyes and looked at the ground, just seeing her in my peripherals. 

 _Do not look her in the eyes Nate_ I told myself. _It'll make her angry. Will it make her angry? Like them? No... No, please..._

Seeing my reaction her expression immediately filled with regret, reaching out her hand to me, trying to apologize, I flinched back, I wasn't just going to stand here and be ignored by my only family. There was only one way to fix this, if she just wants me to be compliant and listen to her, than fine. I just do not want to be hurt again... please... not again.

"Ok Morgan... I will... I'll go I'm sorry." I turned and ran back up the stairs to the only safe place in my life. My bedroom.

~-*^*-~

Morgan was frozen where she stood, a look of pure horror on her face. Had... had she really just, hit Nate? Oh, god she felt terrible. She loved Nate, he was like her little brother, but she had hit him. Hit him when all he was trying to do was get her to see his perspective. The last time she could recall hitting him was when they were younger, back when Nate's parents were still around. He was younger than she was, by quite a bit was, but she had always played and chose him over the other children her age, she loved him.

Occasionally, like all friends, they fought. These fights usually ended up with Nate crying, in either anger or fear. Though she never recognized when it was the latter, she was too young. However, despite the age difference, Nate always seemed to be more responsible than she was. From keeping out of trouble, to making good decisions, to even helping her when she was hurt. This pleased her parents; they were his baby sitters, so he came over to her house a lot, which was how they met all that time ago.

She, being young, hated the attention her parents gave him instead of her. So of course, like any child she lashed out at the reason of her anger, in this situation that was Nate. She would hit him, or she would say mean things, things that made him cry. Then when she was satisfied and all her anger had left, shed sit, hug him and apologize.

Morgan hadn't done it in years, not since she took over caring for him when his parents abandoned him. After she had taken him in she had noticed a difference in his behavior towards her, he was like a different person. He was quiet, complacent, never agreed, never disagreed, he barely spoke, and this frightened her. What had happened to her friend? 

She investigated, studied him, and asked him on multiple occasions what was wrong. He never spoke, not until one day, when his admittedly fragile walls came crashing down around him. He admitted everything, his parent's abuse, physical, mental and emotional. They put him down, they hurt him, always strove to make sure that he did what they wanted while making sure that he hated himself while doing it.

Nate had known that that kind of treatment was wrong. Even at such a young age, he was intelligent enough to understand that what was expected of them as parents was not being fulfilled. 

At least he had his friends, though there were few they were kind, but as mentioned before they were children. Moreover, children got angry. When little ones are hurt, the first place they would go to is their parents, or at least a teacher to tell on the bully.

Not Nate though, no Nate whenever he had done that was hit, hurt, hated, he was told that he had embarrassed his parents. Therefore, he stopped, Morgan's childlike tantrums only added to this as she told him that she did it because he was her friend. That this was what friends did, she had told him those lies to stop him from telling on her. He never had told on her of course, but not for the reasons she had thought.

From then on, his classmates found that if they hurt him, they would never get in trouble. So, they hurt him. And over the years, as he grew and went through school, year by year, it never stopped. In fact, it only got worse, the others taking their stress and anger out on him. Changing schools, helped a little, at least for a while it did.

People were somewhat kind, but his dark clothing and closed off ways eventually turned them against him. They called him Goth, emo; he wasn't though... he was just scared. Scared that whomever he spoke to would harm him, or send him away.

When his parents abandoned him, he felt nothing but joy, they were leaving him, and he got to live with Morgan, his best and closest friend. At first he was scared of her, he didn't want to be, in fact he sort of felt like he was betraying her in some way. When she had proven that she wasn't like them, nothing could make that better in his eyes. Things had been going great, until...until...

She had hit him...

Morgan sat on their couch, the soft black material darkening in splashes as tears dripped from her face to soak into it. Why had she done that? She hadn't meant to, she had promised herself that she wouldn't do that ever again. She broke her promise, her promise to never hurt the boy she cared so much about.

 _'H_ _e kind of deserved it though..._  '

Morgan froze, a hand stilling over her mouth as she realized what thought had just gone through her mind. He was disrespecting me; after all, I've done for him? The thought continued, and the more she dwelled on it the more the thoughts appeared. 

_'So disrespectful. He should have just agreed to go to school, he needs the education, and so many children don't have the chance to even think about an education. He should have just done as told. I am the adult here he must listen to what he's told, If this is the only way than so be it.'_

_~~~_

_Morgan Want._

_~~_

_She had hit her best friend, her brother, her charge: Nathan Smith..._

_~_

**_Moreover, she had liked it._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT LISTEN UP.  
> I think Morgan Want is great. Not as great as Steph but still great. This story needs bad guys, i'm working with what i got. So anyway, no harsh feelings towards Morgan okey? Okey.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING YOU LOVELY LIL' SHITS.
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS!  
> Kudos if possible?


	4. A Friend to Rely on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello MatPat.
> 
> In my story Nate's channels will have no facecams, just the lyrics. As for his second channel he will still have that, but there again, will just be no facecams. Okay? Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYA GUYS
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS <3

Matthew Patrick, better known at Mat, was exited. Probably more than exited seeing as how he was practically bouncing in his chair causing Stephanie, one of his best friends, to roll her eyes. She just didn’t see how anyone could be so excited for school, but he was, classic Matthew. He loved school, the lessons, the tests, and being social. Mat loved people, so much so that Steph sometimes liked to compare him to a dog. A puppy that loved to go and play.

The thought always made her laugh, he was so ridiculous, just as he loved people, and others loved him. How could they not? He was smart, kind, and funny, thus he rose very quickly in popularity. This was one of the things that made him so genuine, because no matter what he would always stay loyal to his friends and ignore those who tried to suck up to him. He had always said that he never understood his popularity; he felt that he didn’t deserve it, but that he would use it to promote good things. For some reason it always surprised him when it actually worked, and people listened to him.

“You know you still have a few days right?” Stephanie asked her friend though the skype call they were having. She chucked lightly when Mat seemed to deflate in his seat.

“Aww Steph you didn’t have to remind me. Gee no need to rub it in you’re lucky you get to go back tomorrow” Mat whined as he threw his head back onto the headrest of the chair he was on.

“Define lucky” Steph muttered in response to his childish antics. Steph was just like most of the American population, she wasn’t particularly fond of the ‘institutions of education’ as she so fondly dubbed it. Just as Mat was about to sass her lack of enthusiasm, the call froze, this wasn’t the first time, so he just sat back and cursed the terrible internet. As he slouched in the admittedly uncomfortable chair, he looked around his temporary room. He and his parents had been staying with his grandparents for the past few days, and were scheduled to be there for at least the next week or so.

The room was small, dusty, had bad internet and it smelt weird. He hated it, almost as much as he hated being away from his friends. The walls were white; the floor consisted of an ugly, old brown carpet. It had stains that he would rather not know about, and the bed was so old that whenever any weight was put on it, would squeak in protest, it wasn’t too bad though Mat supposed. At least he got so see his grandparents right?

He was struggling to stay positive in this situation, just as he was about to give up on the call, Steph seemed to unfreeze.

“Hey! Mat! Is it working, can you hear me?” Sighing in relief, he leaned forward hunching over the screen with a huge smile.

“Yeah Steph, I can hear you, so how’s Jason?” he had said that deliberately, to be honest he didn’t really care about Jason as much as the brown haired girl in the call. Sure Jason was one of his best friends, and he would do almost anything for him no matter how much he pretended to hate him but right now, he was too tired to care. Maybe they could all have a joint call after they had school tomorrow?

As he sat there trying not to fall asleep as he listened to Steph rant on about an incident between her and Jason, where Jason had gotten in a fight that Steph had to break up. However, in the end it was futile as he fell asleep, on his computer. Steph wasn’t insulted, or mad, she knew that with the time difference that he was up much lather than her. With a small chuckle, she bid him goodnight, and ended the call.

~*-+-*~

Nate was silent, curled up on his bed. He felt utterly betrayed, how had she just done that? He thought she was different, obviously she was just tired, or stressed, this couldn’t be her fault right? She cared about him, no this was his fault. He had been a bother, especially when she had been so kind as to take him in. for a moment a thought entered his mind _What if she makes me leave?_ As soon as that thought ended he felt like his chest was being compressed with his despair, a pitiful whimper escaped him.

A mere moment later a matching whimper was heard. Opening his eyes he saw his dog Rylo with two paws on the edge of his bed, Rylo whimpered again. He nosed Nates arm, before jumping up unto the bed, he nosed his way under the arm, lying down against the ebony’s chest. Nate hugged him tighter to himself, Rylo didn’t seem to mind, especially as the distressed boy started threading his fingers through the multi coloured dogs fur. Gently stroking through the different shades of brown, a small smile stretching the edges of his lips, Rylo always seemed to be able to cheer him up.

They both were startled by the sound of the Skype ring tone, really? now? Nate quickly sat up, pulling his laptop in front of him as Rylo climbed into his lap. He let the call go unanswered; knowing that whoever it was would likely try again. He took that time to wipe his eyes and, cover up the fact that he was just crying, once he deemed himself appropriate he answer the second call just as it was about to end.

It was blurry for a second, and he cursed himself for not checking the Id of the call… then again it could only be one of two people that he actually had on Skype so how bad could it be? Once the call had connected and a face appeared on his screen a huge smile spread across his face.

“Nate hey!” it was his friend, Andy Stein also known as MandoPony; they had met over YouTube, and had done a few songs together. Over time, they had become really good friends, smiling at his brunette friend with dyed blue hair… hehe bluenette.

“Hey there Andy, What’s up?”

“Nate… why do you look worried? Is it school?” Nate’s smile fell; sometimes he felt that Andy knew him a bit too well. He didn’t answer, Andy knew the answer anyway. He looked away; unable to look him in the eyes, as he did he heard a small sigh. _Oh no… have I disappointed him too?_

“It’s going to be ok Nate, you’ve got me and you’ve got Brett right?” Brett was his other friend, he helped him edit his videos, actually, he had been the one that set up the collab with and that had started their friendship.

“I know it’s just…”

“Nate. What school are you going to?” Nate realized at that moment he had never told his friend, which was strange because they told each other basically everything. There were no secrets in their relationship, most of the time that was a good thing.

“Uhh… Westview I think?”

“NATE!” Andy yelled with a huge smile, his volume had scared Rylo, waking him from the doze he had slipped into on Nates lap.

“WHAT?” he had yelled in return, confused of what it was that made Andy act this way.

“THAT’S WHERE I GO, HOW DID WE NOT REALISE THIS, FUCKING IDIOT” Then Andy laughed showing that he was joking around with him.

“FUCK YOU”

Nate smiled, not only at his friend’s enthusiasm.

_But at the fact that he wouldn’t be alone._

_For once in his life, school just might be okay._


	5. No Faith in Humanity...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, sorry taking a while, it's just school started and things just got really, really stressful and i ended up in a bad place. But hopefully things will be on a better schedule now :) 
> 
> I love all you readers so much for 143 reads! That's so great! Kudos just make my day, and comments <3
> 
> ANYWAY, HERE YOU GO!
> 
> WARNING: THERE IS AN IMPORTANT NOTICE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER, THE ANSWER WILL DETERMINE WHERE THE STORY GOES. 
> 
> (Matpat will be in the next chapter and so will Skip)

Nate sighed, he could not put it off for much longer, and he had to get out of bed at some point. He had to, or he would be late, and he didn't want that, not at all, that would make Morgan upset.

Groaning he pulled himself up, slowly trudging to his bathroom, but not before grabbing his chosen outfit for the day. In the pile of clothing he held was; a dark green shirt, a black button up, and his black jeans. _You can never go wrong with black jeans... except maybe at a wedding or a funeral... would that be disrespectful?_

The musician's thoughts were cut off by a knock on the door, which made him jump. His thoughts were frantic, and all over the place, _that must be Morgan, oh god it's Morgan, what did I do? Did I take too long_... he let out a tentative- "Yes?"

"I'm going to work... don't be late" yep definitely Morgan. That thought made him feel stupid, _of course, it was Morgan. Who else would it be? I don't know a murderer... what the fuck is wrong with me?_

He heard her footsteps fading, and he finished his shower as quick as he could manage, which luckily lasted until Morgan was gone. Stepping out of the shower he carefully stepped to the mirror, not wanting to fall flat on his ass, on the tiles. Leaning up he wiped the mirror, which had become fogged up, when the steam from the shower had filled the bathroom.

Sighing at his reflection, he got to work; he slipped on his jeans and the green shirt, pulling on the open black button up over it. At least my clothes are nice; he thought to himself before staring disappointedly into the mirror, he was a mess. Now this wasn't exactly true, even without his hair styled, if someone were to see him most would think that he looked rather nice "hot" even. However, this wasn't what Nate saw.

All Nate saw was a disappointment, he hated himself, he hated how his hair was so dark and barely ever did what he wanted, and he hated how he had to wear glasses because without them he couldn't see. Most of all, he hated his eyes, the two different eyes, that made him feel so useless, was this a trick? Was the universe playing some kind of cruel joke on him? If so, it was not a very funny one.

On the other hand, was he just not good enough to be able to find his soulmate like anyone else? Perhaps he didn't even have a soulmate; perhaps he was just born with Heterochromia Iridium...

**_Maybe, just maybe, he just wasn't good enough for anyone..._ **

Was that why he didn't seem to have a soulmate? No it couldn't be, the eyes were different, and they showed different emotions, which had to be a sign for something right? Smiling slightly at his little bout of optimism, he lest the bathroom, quickly grabbing his black, Legend of Zelda shoulder bag that he had packed the night before, and left. Nate, being how he was, absolutely refused to take the school bus. Sure, it was free and a lot quicker than his twenty-minute walk to school, but he didn't think he would be able to survive being trapped with so many people, in a space so small.

**_Nope, no, no way, nope, not. Happening._ **

To pass the time on his walk, of which he was only three-minutes into, he pulled his phone and ear buds out of the pocket of his jeans, glad that he had remembered to grab it on his way out the door. Putting the buds in his ears, he chose a song; it was one of his originals, the one he was currently working on. He had no clue what to call it... but one day there was a tune in his head, and the next he had recorded the instruments to a really cool sounding song. The only problem was, he had no lyrics. So every once in a while, he would listen to what he had recorded, in the hopes that the lyrics would just... come to him as they had a few times before.

He tried to think about his different inspirations, sometimes he used the games he liked, other times it was his past, sometimes it was his version of an already created song, no wait he didn't want to do that. He wanted a song of his own.

Nathan Sharp was an artist, a gamer, someone who made jokes and laughed with his followers on the internet, he was an inspiration to millions. Nathan Smith, was a depressed, anxious, Fucked up, annoying, disappointment. At least... that's what he saw in himself, he saw them at to different people, the one he was and the one he wanted to be. Perhaps he never took into account that they were the same person, him, and he was, funny and brilliant and smart. However, no one seemed to see that, and thus, neither did he.

He had lost faith in most of humanity long ago, his trust and dignity broken, again and again, he hoped and prayed for a friend that he could count on, then he had Morgan, and things were okay. Then he lost Morgan, his trust, faith and heart, shattered.

There was a slight hope inside him, he believed in his friend Andy, the one who gives him advice, keeps his secrets, keeps his past, he barely if ever swore, and he genuinely cared for his girlfriend (They're too young to be married in this, sorry) he was a good friend.

Nate was so wrapped up in his thoughts and his song, that he didn't notice someone else on the sidewalk, until it was too late. They had collided; neither of them was paying attention to what they were doing, and now, Nate was on the ground along with the stranger's bag.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention!" Nodding silently, he took the strangers offered hand, and stood with their help, scooping up their bag while doing it. Gently he passed it to them-

"No its okay, I wasn't either, sorry by the way"

"That's okay, and thanks" they gently took the bag from his hands...

"So what's your name?" they asked politely.

"Nathan, but please call me Nate" He all but whispered.

"Hi Nate" They say kindly "I'm-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT!
> 
> Okay so you know that person that Nate just met? Yeah them? I don't know who they are! That, is up to you guys! 
> 
> So here's how it's gonna go~ Nate is going to meet Andy anyway so choosing him would be useless, and Matt isn't there yet, so those are my only limits.
> 
> Suggestions;
> 
> \- Stephanie
> 
> \- Jason
> 
> \- Jack
> 
> \- Mark
> 
> \- One of the Grumps
> 
> \- Dan and Phil (Because when are they not together?)
> 
> THESE ARE JUST SUGGESTIONS! ANYONE IS OKAY!
> 
> Happy choosing! :)


	6. (This is a chapter) And the winner of the vote is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate meets a new friend that you guys vote for!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys, and i'm sorry for the slow updates, but I have exams and another story to keep up with and friends/family to keep oblivious soo yeah. But it's okay because this is what I love doing and I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Please leave a comment. Comments = more will to write :)
> 
> (Kudos if ya think this deserves it, please?)
> 
> Please read my note at the bottom because I would like to be serious for a sec, okay? Okay.  
> I know we can't stop memes, I don't want to, that's the point i'm trying to make here! Just, I needed to rant, and if anyone reads this then okay if you don't then fine, I just... I know I sound like an idiot, but well there's not really anyone else who will listen. Keep joking, I just needed to get bullying off my chest. <3

“-Sean, but please call me Jack. I mean, everyone does” I looked down at the smaller male, intrigued by the slight Irish lilt in his voice. He has small, thin; he was pale with one electric blue eye and one dark brown with a shock of bright green hair on his head.

“So-” he exclaimed “-Where are you heading? Because you look around my age so I thought ‘hey maybe he’s going to school’ but you’re walking. Does that mean that you go to the school around here? On the other hand, are you walking to a bus stop to get to the other one a while away and-“my shocked chuckle startled him into a brief silence.

“Oh! Sorry, was I rambling, I do that a lot, so hey don’t mind me but, if that annoys you or puts you off just say the word and I’ll shut up. Yep so just tell me ta shut it if I start rambling again and I’m-“

“Hey, Jack?” I cut him off quietly. The small male set his full attention onto me, as if what I was about to say next would determine the future of the universe. It was unsettling but at the same time it was… _nice_ … nice to feel that what I had to say mattered at least a small bit to someone, even if I just technically met them.

“Yeah?” he answered brightly, following as I started in the direction of the school again. I looked to him with my first genuine smile of the day.

“Shut it?” seeing that I was only teasing; he let out a loud boisterous laugh, calming quickly though to a quiet chuckle as he smiled back up at me.

“I think that we’re going to be great friends-“this made me pause, wait what? Jack… this bubbly, funny, charismatic boy wanted to be my friend? Well that was new. I internally sighed, resigning myself to the fact that one day he is going to see just how fucked up I am. _Then he’s going to leave, but he can’t be that bad right?_ He doesn’t _seem_ that bad, at least. So I’ll just take what friendship I can get but keep myself at a distance, that way if- no _when_ , he leaves, it won’t hurt as much.

So that’s how we were for the next fifteen minutes as we walked to school together, we talked about things we liked, well, he talked I just answered his multitude of questions with my minimal answered. This never seemed to sway him though, as the questions just kept coming:

_What’s your favorite colour?_

**Well since Black is not a colour, blue**

_Do you like video games?_

**Yes**

_What’s your favorite game?_

**Legend of Zelda and Pokémon, I guess FNaF?**

_Cool! Mine’s Shadow of The Colossus. Why do you like black so much?_

**I’ll tell you later**

_You’re new right?_

**Yep**

_Will you be my friend?_

**Sure…?**

_Can I show you around!_

**Well someone has to do it?**

_Do you like anime and/or manga?_

**Absolutely**

_What music do you like?_

**All of it I guess?**

_That’s not an answer but okay! Can I introduce you to my friends?_

**Umm… maybe another time?**

_At lunch?_

**Maybe.**

_Please?_

**…**

_Pwwweeaasseee?_

**I’ll tell you later.**

 

So that’s how it went us sharing jokes and making comments. Sarcastic remarks which I thought for sure was going to get me hit only got a whole range of different types of laughs. I could not help but feel that this was a good sign, my first day, and school hasn’t even started yet and I have already met the embodiment of fucking sunshine. My phone completely forgotten in my pocket in favor of the blue/ brown-eyed boy bouncing, and rambling happily beside me.

\---

When we reached the school, I felt all of the anxiety I previously felt come flooding back. This was a bad idea, but I have no choice… groaning a little, I close my eyes trying to block out the sudden dizziness clouding my vision. Unexpectedly a hand touched my shoulder, freaking out I flinched away resulting in me hitting my other shoulder into the fence, _god that hurt_. Opening my eyes, what I saw made me feel so guilty, Jack was frozen, hand still posed in the air where he touched me. A worried and frightened look on his face. I looked away, I couldn’t take it, _he’s seen, oh god he’s seen what a freak I am, he’s going to leave me. Already I’ve fucked up and he’s going to tell everyone and-_

“Nate?” it was so soft I almost didn’t hear it, _almost_.

“Nate, what’s wrong? Was it me? Did I scare you? If you don’t like people touching you I’m sorry, look I know we just met but I care about you, you seem nice… Nate?”  At first, I was shocked _he doesn’t hate me? After I literally just spazzed out in front of him?_ Then, that feeling melted into something much softer, much warmer, _he… cares? About… me?_ I silently looked into his multi-coloured eyes, that, much like his voice, were soft and caring, not a trace of a lie hidden in their depths.

“Sorry, Jack I just… I-I’m not exactly the most comfortable in- in social or crowded pl-pla-places” my voice was shaking, I hated it, it showed my weakness. Then again, did I really have to worry about that with Jack? I know I just met him, but I felt as though we were going to be great friends. He smiled and dropped his hand-

“It’s okay, ye don’t have to explain yerself ta me. But hey at least you gotta frien’ in tha school, and I’ll always be here in case ya need me” I was incredibly grateful for meeting this ball of fucking optimism and rainbows. That reminds me:

“Do you know anyone named Andy? He’s probably my only friend here… apart from you-“in that moment his face lit up, why did he always seem so happy?

“erm… Stein?”

“That’s the one” His smile stayed plastered on his face as he answered pulling my carefully towards the institution.

“Oh yeah I know him, well I know of him, he’s in our homeroom, come on!” And as he dragged me towards the office I couldn’t help but feel that this place wouldn’t be as bad as I thought…

 

_Well I wasn’t entirely wrong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys I’d like to get serious for a second.This is my point of view. I'm not some attention seeking person, I just really want to get my view of things known okay?  
> Look I know that “Triggered” Is a popular joke going around, and I get it, yeah it’s pretty funny, but only in minuscule situations. Hell, even I make those jokes, so i'm not some hypocrite and i'm not tell you to stop making them, just... stay open minded. The fact that some people actually judge seriously ‘Triggered’ people hurts and disgusts me, even the words ‘Triggered/ trigger/ triggering’ have become somewhat of a joke, and as someone who gets ‘Triggered’ myself, I’m pretty hurt. I’ll use myself as an example, though I know there are many people who go through the same thing- certain words, certain names, and certain situations, ‘trigger’ me, and those who don’t go through the same thing seem to think that it’s okay to taunt others with said ‘Triggers’. Oh it’s just a joke! They say. Lighten up! They say. Stop pretending to be some emo wanna-be, Stop flinching at loud sounds, why cant I call you this and that? i'm only joking! I know using myself is not the best example, but I don’t want to post someone else’s situation online okay? Heck, I barely even want to write this! But people need to realize that this isn’t all some joke for them to throw around. I’m sorry for my rant it’s just… *Sighs*  
> I know we can't stop memes, I don't want to, that's the point i'm trying to make here! Just, I needed to rant, and if anyone reads this then okay if you don't then fine, I just... I know I sound like an idiot, but well there's not really anyone else who will listen. Keep joking, I just needed to get bullying off my chest. <3
> 
> Anyway, love you guys,  
> Have a good day/ night/ week/ month/ your life  
> Buh bye.


	7. Steph is calling...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank.  
> Thank's for being patient guys! 
> 
> Please leave a comment, or kudos if ya like (But I like comments better ;)
> 
> p.s I didn't proof read... whoops
> 
> So without further adu this is chapter 7

I _really_ need to stop doing this.

Staring at them is not going to help.

No Matthew stop it, neither is staring at the name.

Why does it have to be such a generic name?

_Smith?_

How many bloody people have the last name Smith? A lot that’s how many. It’s been a year since the name was supposed to appear on my wrist, they must have turned seventeen just recently. So they are a year younger than I am? That’s okay, at least it’s not like four or five years, that would be torture honestly. To spend so long without a name, I would probably feel like I was broken somehow. Like I didn’t have a soulmate.

That would be worse than dying; it would basically be the universe telling you that you are not good enough to be loved so completely by someone. No one deserves that… well that’s not true, at least not in my opinion.

I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s everyone’s right to love and be loved, especially by someone that is supposed to love you unconditionally. However, then I think about all of those poor people that would be stuck with sociopaths, psychopaths, the people who murder for fun or sport then get thrown in jail. Do those people even deserve soulmates? Are they even considered people? Or do they just become monsters, monsters that care for no one but themselves and their next kill. 

I want my soulmate, and I want them right now, god I know that sounds bratty, but wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you want someone to love and hold, and protect, to be protected in turn.

What do they look like? Are they a guy or a girl, maybe they are agender or something else entirely, I don’t care honestly, I will love them anyway. This is one of the reasons I’m so eager to get back to school. At least when I’m there I’m closer to people around my age and have a much higher chance of finding them. However, what are the odds really that they even go to my school? What if they didn’t even live in this town, this state, this _country_? Will I ever find them? I’ve heard stories of people that have never met their soulmate, because of location or age or… oh god, what if my soulmate is dead?

What if they’re dead and I never meet them, will I stay single forever, or will I just wither away always waiting and always wondering… oh god, _oh god no._

I closed my eyes, taking multiple deep breaths to calm myself. Now is not the time for panicking, now is the time for relaxing, I mean I’m still technically on holiday. That’s good right? Steph says so, but I for one really like school, but then again most teenagers my age don’t. Like Steph, and Jason, and I would trust Steph with not only my life, not only my cats life but probably also my soulmate's. That is a big feat.

A couple years ago in early high school, we dated for a few months before deciding to just be friends. As friends we had a good thing going, there was no need to complicate it further honestly; I don’t really remember why we tried in the first place. We are both smart people, we both saw it coming, what were we even thinking?

Opening my eyes again, I looked into them in the mirror. Here I was standing in my bathroom staring at my eyes… was that weird? I suppose not, anyone would want to see right? Our eyes are so similar, both brown, but one brighter and one darker in both emotion and colour, the deep-set emotion in them was transfixing. I always did prefer that one to be honest, and I’m not entirely sure why, could that one be my soulmates? Alternatively, was I just picking favorites?

I always feel guilty when I think about that, what if the other one is my soulmates, and then I would just be thinking that I like my eye colour better than theirs. This just sounds vein to me.

It doesn’t matter though, whoever they are, I will love them unconditionally.

I just hope that they will do the same.

Sighing I splashed water on my face, jeeze I am so tired of feeling anxious about this all the time, I need a distraction...

OH! OH! OH! I KNOW! GROUP CALL!

Logging onto skype I sent a message to the group chat-

**Matpat: Anyone up for a call?**

It took a few minutes for anyone to answer

**Steph: Okay :)**

**Jason: Sure**

**Steph: When?**

**Markiplier: Whats up?**

**Matpat: Now?**

**Markiplier: Oh. Mmmmmkay**

**Jacksepticeye: Yep! I’ll just be a minute**

**Jacksepticeye: I’ll join ya in a sec**

**Matpat: Alright**

**_Steph_ ** _is calling…_

**_Jason_ ** _has joined the call_

**_Markiplier_ ** _has joined the call_

I smiled brightly as my friends faces appeared on my screen.

“Hey Matthew, what’s up?” Steph asked, and I sighed shrugging and giving her a small smile.

“You know… the usual”

“Aww poor baby” Jason cooed mockingly, I knew he meant it as a joke, so I took no offence. Marks deep baritone laugh came through my speakers.

“Is Matty patty okway?” I sent a ‘are you serious’ look into the camera, this only made all of them laugh just a bit harder, and by a bit, what I really meant is, a lot.

_Jacksepticeye has joined the call_

A chorus of hellos was exchanged along with Jack’s own greetings, his Irish accent thicker probably due to how tired he looked.

“Sean what’s wrong?” Mark immediately noticed the green haired boy’s mood.

“Are you okay?” Steph asked, their voices overlapping each other’s, I decided to stay silent but shot him a concerned look.

“It’s just… I just…” he was clearly struggling to word his thoughts, this just seemed to really frustrate him.

“It’s okay, take your time” Mark was quick to reassure him, they were soulmates after all. Sean took a deep breath.

“Okay so… there’s this boy I met on the way to school today, umm… he was real quiet and reserved, but he was funny and rather nice… but uhh” We stayed silent, letting him gather his thoughts.

“I’m kind of worried about him, I showed him around and all that… he refused to meet you guys at lunch… he… he…” Jack sighed once again, running a hand through his green strands “Should I even be telling you guys this?”

“It’s okay Jack, whatever it is you can tell us, we won’t tell anyone” I reassured as quietly and calmly as possible.

“T’anks I… I think he’s hurt or has been hurt, he… flinches at contact and practically mutes himself around people, a few people teased him trying to see how he would react and he just… it’s like he shrunk… but he was really familiar with that Andy Stein guy. You know the one? In uhh… Science I think?” He paused for a moment “I want to be his friend but I’m not sure how I should approach him”

“So…. I came to you guys”

_Well this is interesting…_


	8. What are you... oh he's kinda cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi, how was your day?

Generally, Matt prided himself on being a pretty positive person. He was young, healthy, had loving support from his parents, and a grumpy cat that he had a love hate relationship with. Overall, he was happy, all that was missing was Him, whomever this name on his wrist belonged to. He rubbed the works carefully as he waited in the living room. He had another half hour before the bus would arrive, or he could just take his bike. However, with it being the first early morning he’s had to have in a while, he was too tired to really be bothered with exercise.

He bit his lip and sighed, he flopped on his back with his neck hanging back over the arm to look at the clock. He stared at it, glared was probably a better description, he just wanted that clock’s hands to move faster. It was too slow.  he grunted and stood. A watched pot never boils as they say. He stretched, a pleased groan echoing in the room. He scooped up his bag and slung it on his shoulder, might as well get a head start. He grabbed his keys from the table by the door as he left, tossing and catching them in his free hand as he made his way to the door.

He stepped out, stopping to stretch once again and just breathe in the morning. The leaves danced in the wind, swirling and bobbing as they were carried away from where they had grown, some destined to hit the ground and some to drift across the town on a journey that existentially reminded him of life. The cold autumn wind bit at his cheeks and he stepped out of the safety of his porch as though daring him to go further. He pulled his brown leather jacket closer around him and rubbed his hands together as he made his way to the bus stop.

Skip followed him only as far as the gate, before slinking off into the garden, most likely to play in the grass and drag dirt inside later which he would have to clean up again. He didn’t really mind, but when Skip does it again and again, he thinks that the damn cat might just be doing it for the sole purpose to annoy him. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, but hey annoy the crap out of it if you want. Mat snickered at his own joke, and placed his bag beside him as he sat on the bench at the bus stop, it wouldn’t arrive for another twenty minutes, but the cool breeze had woken him up enough to be able to stand the wait. At least this way there wasn’t a clock for him to relentlessly stare at. Matt vaguely registered his positivity again and wondered what it would be like for people who prefer to think of the bad in things in life.

As he was thinking the bus rolled up. It was the stereotypical American school bus, kids messing around inside, the bus driver looking ready to kill all of them or alternatively, herself. It was an obnoxious yellow colour and honestly it made his eyes hurt sometimes, the doors swung open when it had come to a complete stop. He climbed on offering the driver a quiet greeting and made his way to his usual seat.

The bus was practically empty but he knew that within a few stops it would be so full that it would almost feel suffocating. His usual seat was in the middle of the bus and on the left by the window. Not too close to the back where some kids liked to rough house and not to close to the front where the driver would shush you every other minute. It was perfect and he sat there so much that when he was late to the bus after school the others just generally left it for him. He smirked, ah the power of routine. He leaned his head against the window, it was cold probably having been cooled by the winds overnight, but he knew from experience that it was going to be almost burning hot from the  sun by the end of the day.

He looked up as the bus stopped and watched the door, one by one a group of other students made their way onto the bus and searched for the seat they wanted, finally he grinned and waved as Steph clambered up the steps greeted the driver like he had before she made her way to him, mimicking his wave. She plopped down with a huff, throwing her bag to her feet.

“Another day, another dollar” she grunted quietly.

“We don’t get paid” he pointed out helpfully. She said nothing and shot him a glare, there was no heat behind it, she was just tired. They remained silent for the rest of the ride, reveling in the state of companionship where they didn’t have to fill any awkward silences. Arriving at school they practically ran off the bus, eager to put away their bags and greet their friends. They walked to the locker area and soon found theirs.

Matt pointed out how glad he was that they didn’t have to change lockers like last year because he did not want to waste another half hour just looking for a new locker. Stephanie agreed and once he was done, lead him towards where their friends and her had been meeting in the mornings since the start of school.  Walking towards them Matt was pleasantly surprised with how happy they all looked, honestly, he was used to them being either grumpy or quiet in the mornings and yet there they all stood, chatting like it was lunch and they didn’t still have a whole day of classes ahead of them.

While they were unaware of them approaching he took the chance to study them. Jack had gotten taller, now slightly taller than Mark, which honestly surprised him, his hair was still a vibrant green, most likely freshly dyed. He was draped over his soulmates back. Mark was giggling, and held the lighter boy in piggy back position, his naturally brown hair draped over his eyes. He looked fit, more well-muscled than last semester. They were waving to Felix as he was walking away, with his own wave. Matt sped up until he was practically jogging over to them, gosh he had missed his friends. Just as he reached them Jason had as well.

“Hey guys!” he practically yelled as he came to a stop, stumbling a little due to the speed he had been moving at. Luckily Steph was there to steady him. The rest cheered various hello’s and greetings. And the good mood stuck. After their exchanging of stories of the holidays and pleasantries, their classes weren’t too bad and some were even entertaining and interesting. Long story short, they were all having a brilliant day, which was surprising seeing as the others were usually moping about having to be at school.

It didn’t feel like long until it was time for lunch. They all met up at their usual table, which was one of the few picnic tables that were outside, it was under a large yew tree that the younger kids liked to climb on during their break. For them, it created a sense of privacy and even kept them dry when it rained. Mark and Jason were already there, goofing about and playfully shoving each other. Which was odd, seeing as it was usually Jack and Mark playing around and Jason watching.

“Where’s Jack?” He asked Steph who had just jogged up to walk with him. She opened her mouth to answer when Mark pipped up. _Huh I guess I wasn’t as quiet as I thought._

“He went to go find his new friend” Matt stopped for a moment to try and jog his memory, oh wait, yes.

“Nate Right?” He muttered mostly to himself but mark nodded anyway.

“Yeah I think so”

Mark trailed off while looking over Matts shoulder.

“Mark? You okay?” he nodded and waved causing Matt to turn. “Found ‘em”. For a moment Matt was taken aback, Jack was indeed heading towards them but what actually caught his attention was the person he was bringing with him. He had short dark hair that shined in the sun, he was tall, even taller than him and was lithe but seemed well muscled enough. He wore dark denim jeans with rips on the knees and a plain grey hoodie, his hands stuffed into the front pocket. He walked leaning a little to the left, to counter the weight of his forest green bag which was slung over his right shoulder.

His royal purple converse looked old and well loved. Matts gaze shifted then to the strangers face and felt his breath hitch, he was gorgeous, his skin was pale and looked smooth, lacking any acne that quite a few people at the school suffered from. He turned to the small man next to him, which gave Matt a full view of the black gouges in his ears, usually they would make him uncomfortable, since Jack had gotten his ears pierced and dragged him with. But in that moment, he felt that he could come to appreciate them.

From this angle, he couldn’t see the new comers eyes, which was a shame really, and he took a moment to fantasize about what colour or colours they could be. He felt a small tap on his shoulder and reluctantly pulled his eyes from the approaching teen. Steph had a hand on his shoulder and one over her mouth, clearly trying to hold in her laughter.

“ha-what?” he swallowed, realizing that his jaw had been hanging open. She rolled her eyes and scuffed him on the back of the head.

“Oh nothing~” he returned the gesture and turned to ogle the other some more, only to blush when he realized that they were now only a meter or two away. He quickly looked away, only to turn and glare at his so called friend when she elbowed him in the ribs.

“Hey guys!” Jack cheered coming to a stop in front of them, his new friend only a few feet behind him. He couldn’t help but stare over the Irish boys head. The other was blushing and was slumped over in embarrassment, his hair hiding his eyes. He could have groaned in frustration but luckily caught himself before he did.  He tuned in again just in time to hear Jack introducing them.

“-Is Mark, and this is Jason, if something ever goes wrong make sure to blame him-“ “Hey!” “-excuse me I was speaking, anyway where was I… oh yeah! this is Steph, she’s just overall great, if you want help emotionally or physically she’s the one to go to, and that’s Matt he’s a dork, so don’t be intimidated if he says something stupidly smart. It happens sometimes.

The raven-haired boy just nodded flashing them all a small smile before studying the area they were in.

“Oh right, yeah, guys this is Nate!” he cheered

Then promptly lead the way to the table. Matt was about to follow when he noticed that the new guy wasn’t following. He felt kind of embarrassed of his friends and how they hadn’t seemed to notice. The other turned probably to leave when Matt reached out, he didn’t really touch him, just a slight tug on his elbow, but he immediately jumped away and held his hand to his chest as it tingled from the touch. He hid his shock quickly. However, he could see that the other had done no such thing. He was looking at him, one hand on his elbow and the other tucked close to his chest.

“Uhm… Hi” the other muttered, and Matt swore he had never heard a more beautiful sound.

“Hey, you don’t seem to be comfortable in crowds huh?” he mentally scolded himself for his forwardness.

“Uh no, no not really”

“Do you want to go somewhere quiet, ‘cause I know a few places” The other smiled and nodded.

“Ye- yeah, uh that sounds really great actually.” Matt couldn’t explain the warmth that permeated his chest in that moment.

“Well then-“ he bowed dramatically and made an overdone sweeping gesture in the direction of the library “- Shall we?” Nate just rolled his eyes, but accepted the hand offered to him.

“Sure, lead the way”


	9. Here you go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I get you guys like this, and I’m flattered so here you go. I don’t really partake in the Game Theory or NWTB fandoms anymore. If you haven’t seen my account it’s full of Bandom works. 
> 
> I love you guys though, please comment? 
> 
> From now on updates will be generally frequent. However, keep in mind I have four other ongoing works, three of which(‘Brother’, ‘A Million Reasons, But I Need a Million More’, and ‘Bandom Oneshots and Multifics’) take priority over this and ‘An Impossible Unnatural Grey’ but I won’t let it go on as long as last time. All future chapters will be more or less one thousand words, so don’t expect any more two or three thousand word ones. 
> 
> Don’t complain about it being short or I won’t fucking update anymore.
> 
> Look guys I’m sorry okay? But seriously, fuck off, I’m also doing the IB diploma I don’t exactly have free time anymore.
> 
> I do love comments though, so if you have any comments, questions, suggestions, or requests throw ‘em out dudes I’ll probably do them. <3

Matt wouldn’t really consider himself a romantic fanatic or anything. He didn’t find the appeal in waxing poetry about the simplest of things. But the feeling of this boy’s hand in his was like coming home, like the first breath of air after diving too deep in a pool. They wandered on in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, neither boy understanding quite why they felt no awkwardness.

The day was beautiful, cold and crisp, despite the glaring sun, and as Nate looked around to admire a flock of birds passing above, Matt watched him. He didn’t mean to be creepy, there was just something about this boy that pulled him in, and honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure he didn’t like it.

“So Nate-“ He began hesitantly, “-do you like cats?” Nate snorted and laughed, even though Matt was confused and a little offended, he laughed along, because how could he not when he’d been graced with such an enchanting sound. God, he was gone on this boy, now he really needed to see his eyes, because if in the chance this boy wasn’t his soulmate, he’d feel pretty guilty for absolutely adoring him.

“I-I’m sorry-“ Nate chuckled as he calmed “-I just- you asked that outta nowhere and it surprised me. Uh yeah? No, yeah, I like cats I guess, do you have a cat? I have a dog.” Matt smiled brightly, glad they were on a topic he could enjoy and to be learning more about the other.

“Mhmm I have a tom named Skip, he’s pretty grumpy but y’know he’s mine. And you?” he inquired as he let go of Nate’s hand, disguising his disappointment as he held open the library door for him, receiving a small smile in thanks.

“I have a pup named Rylo, he really means a lot to me… wait I’ve been here like a week and I still haven’t been in the library before?”. He mused quietly, as Matt lead him over to his favourite reading area, it was a small nook behind the bookcases that rarely anyone looks at, it was cozy and hidden and had a great Wi-Fi connection. He sat, rather ungracefully, in his usual beanbag and made a sweeping gesture to the remaining few, silently pleased when he selected the one next to him.

“Well than-“ he prompted happily “-where’re you from? What’s the family like? Got any siblings? What do you like to do?-“ he listed off, but winced when Nate turned away, shrinking in on himself.

“I-I don’t like to talk about it…” he practically whimpered, and Matt knew he had to fix this, and now. He scooted forward and as slow as possible, gently tilted Nate’s face towards him as he spoke.

“Hey now, I’m sorry, if you don’t want to talk about it, tha…” his reassurance trailed off into a soft intake of breath as their eyes met. He watched as Nate’s eye’s flashed a soft gold, then the lighter brown flashing once again before it darkened to match the other. Matt could only assumed his had done the same.

They stayed like that for a moment, trying to comprehend what this meant for the two of them. Matt recovered from his shock first, and shifted to look down to where his left hand rested over Nate’s right. Removing his hand from Nate’s face he brought them both to turn over Nate’s right then proceeded to gently and slowly push up his sleeve. He had to make a double take when he saw nothing but pale skin, he moved to Nate’s left but his hands covering his stopped him. He looked up once again only to feel his heart break as silent tears dripped down his cheeks.

“Don’t-“ he whispered hoarsely, “that one’s blank too, both of them, they always have been.” He looked away as more tears fell, and jumped when Matt took his cheeks in his hands, gently rubbing the tears away with his thumbs petting under Nate’s eyes. He absolutely loved those eyes.

“Even if they’re blank, it makes me think of you no less.” He whispered sincerely, tears of his own escaping without his permission, these of both happiness in finally finding his soulmate and heartbreak for what Nate must have felt.

“R-really?” he matched Matt’s tone with uncertainty, sure he would laugh and turn away when he saw how dysfunctional he really was. Matt pulled him to himself, tucking Nate’s head under his chin and enclosing him in his embrace, hoping to protecting him from the rest of the world.

“Name or no, your eye’s were enough for me to see… look” he prompted, as he remembered the scrawl on his own wrist, he brought it into their view and melted at the sight of the now full name marring the fragile skin. _Nathan Smith_ , it read, and Matt finally felt Nate go lax against him.

They held each other for the next hour, ignoring the bell and skipping two periods to just be. To revel in each-others presence because now that they had each other things could be looking up. After school they avoided the group and decided to head for the park nearby, hand in hand, they got to know each other talking about anything and everything, bar Nate’s past and family, which made Matt curious but he knew better than to push.

Later that day, when they parted ways each with a new contact in their phones, and dreamy smiles on their faces, Nate pecked Matt on the cheek, as he blushed Matt realized he felt more complete than he ever knew he could be and Nate finally didn’t feel so alone.

 


	10. here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tells frens
> 
>  
> 
> hi

Secrets weren’t exactly Matt’s strong suit. Not that he’d ever even consider keeping his freaking soulmate a secret. This was the best thing that’d ever happened to him. So when he’d gotten off the public bus, late but for good reason, he ran home excited. He ignored everything as he ran, jumping over a broken fence-post, dodging past Mrs. Jefferson and her little corgi Suzy, and practically breaking the gate latch as he threw it open in his haste to get inside.

“Mom!” he cried “Dad!” he stood, shaking in his excitement and  heaving breaths as his Mom looked over from where she was studying the bookcase and his Dad leaned out from the kitchen, a carrot stick hanging half-way out the corner of his mouth.

“What’s wrong kiddo?” he asked while his mother nodded, concerned. A bright smile overtook his face, he was so happy he couldn’t even get the words out, and as they got caught in his throat tears began to pour down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but all he could do was sob and smile, then he began to laugh. His mother strode over and pulled him into her arms, he hated that he was scaring them but his cries and laughter was combining into an ugly mess of tears and grins.

“Guys-“he began once he’d gotten control of himself, at least somewhat.

“Yeah Matt?” his mom prompted, and he had to fight so hard to keep himself from melting down again.

“I met him” he breathed, him mother leant back to hold him at arm’s length.

“Who? What are yo-“ she cut herself off with a gasp and placed her hands on his cheeks to look deeply into his eyes.

“Matty” she choked. “Honey look” she whimpered, as her own tears welled in her eyes. It took his father a moment, but after not too long he was laughing and pulling all three of them into a tight hug.

-

Three hours, a long loving conversation, and a warm meal later, Matt was wishing his parents a good night, and was rushing upstairs to see if his friends were on Skype. He closed his door softly and threw himself onto his office chair, spinning rapidly as he waited for his old desktop to boot up. An eternity later, he rushed through his username and password, messing it up multiple times in the process then typed a quick message to his group.

 **To: Friends TM**  
guys guys guys guys guys  
guys guys

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
Wt

 **From: Stepph**  
To: Friends TM  
Omg what

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
Sup man

 **From: Jacky**  
To: Friends TM  
Hi! :3

 **To: Friends TM**  
Youll never guess  
The best thing ever  
Im so happpppy

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
!

 **From: Jacky**  
**To: Friends TM  
**?

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
That’s good

 **From: Stepph**  
To: Friends TM  
Ok so what?

 **To: Friends TM  
**You guys know nate

 **From: Jacky**  
To: Friends TM  
Obvs

 **From: Stepph**  
To: Friends TM  
Yep

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
So…

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
Get on with it

 **To: Friends TM**  
Hes my soulmate

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
What

 **From: Jacky**  
To: Friends TM  
Seriously

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
That’s awesome dude!

 **To: Friends TM**  
I know

 **From: Jacky**  
To: Friends TM  
Is that why you gys dissapeard

 **To: Friends TM  
**Yeah

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
ooooOOoOOo ;)

 **To: Friends TM**  
not like that!

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
You guys totally woohooed :x

 **To: Friends TM**  
Stop!

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
Ok ok ok ok

 **From: Jacky**  
To: Friends TM  
Enough guys

 **From: Stepph**  
To: Friends TM  
So what actually happened

 **To: Friends** TM  
So he seemed uncomfortable so I was gonna show him around and stuff  
I took him to the library you know tat little corner and we were there and talking and then I looked at his eyes and just  
oh my god

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
Aww

 **From: Jacky**  
To: Friends TM  
<3

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
gay

 **From: Stepph**  
To: Friends TM  
Shut up!

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
:P

 **To: Friends TM  
**You know it

 **From: Stepph**  
To: Friends TM  
Matt!

 **To: Friends TM  
**What XD!!!!!

 **From: Jacky**  
To: Friends TM  
Lol

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
Omg

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
Hahaha

 **To: Friends TM**  
Oh man I g2g

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
Yeah

 **From: Stepph**  
To: Friends TM  
Me too

 **From: Jacky**  
To: Friends TM  
congrats matt

 **From: Ja-son**  
To: Friends TM  
see you tomoz

 **From: Merk**  
To: Friends TM  
byeeeee

 **To: Friends TM**  
haha bye

  



End file.
